A co-worker mentioned that she was considering purchasing a sleep-number bed. Instead of just saying “that’s a bad idea,” I put together a small presentation complete with visual aids. This being the single-most inspired thing I’ve done all week, I decided it was, if not blog-worthy, at least blogable.

The wife and I had a sleep number bed, only back then they were just called “beds you could air up.” She liked to blow up her side all the way and pretend she was a giant sleeping on a hillside next to the village she just devoured. (At least, that’s the only reasonable explanation I can conceive that would explain her preference.) I favored a little bit of concavity in my side so I could curl up and feel all snuggled. With two such disparate preferences, we obviously need two beds and should still be sleeping on ours. But, there was a dark side.

Because the two sleep silos are, in fact, two separate beds, they are not one bed and therefore have an area in between that allows for distinction. (The only two things without space in between are conjoined twins, and the teenage couple I saw at the fair last weekend.) On our bed this space was actually a canyon, complete with burros, cacti and an old dolomite mine. In the picture I have labeled this space “no-man’s land.”

When we were sleeping, this was actually sort of nice. On most other beds, including our current bed, “we” have trouble finding the middle, and sometimes “we” end up sleeping on the three inches closest to the edge, with feet in our back. But, on this bed, the sides were clearly defined. Of course, as you might guess, sometimes my wife and I get into bed even when we have no intention of sleeping. It was during these times that we found that chasm in the middle sort of a problem. If we tried her side, one of us would have to stabilize himself with one foot on the ground or risk injury from rolling off the bed and landing “face” down on the floor. If we tried my side, one of us would be at the wrong angle and also would feel a bit stifled and have to break for air. So, we naturally gravitated toward the middle, but the middle was really just a space in between two beds, so there was no “bed” there. This meant that one of us was actually pinned between two air mattresses and lying on a hard piece of plastic. Not so romantic.

So, I explained this to my co-worker. For sleeping, sleep number beds are great. But, for other bed-related activities, they are not so great. That is when I came up with the idea for bedroom modifications that might alleviate the emphasis put on the bed for activities other than sleeping. If you added a sofa (or couch), a nice soft rug, a grand piano and a ping-pong table, these would provide alternative places to participate in these other activities, and allow you to keep the sleep number bed for sleeping.

But really, I just wanted to show you the picture. Have a great day.