When we start our fresh new blogs, we are excited and imagine ourselves posting every day (possibly several times a day) until, inevitably, we become so busy with the book deals that we just can’t keep up. After months of regular posts, and with the noticeable lack of emails from publishers that proclaim “MY GOD – YOU ARE BRILLIANT,” it is natural for bloggers to begin to shift their energies to other projects (Project Runway, for example.) Also natural is the guilt that comes when you realize you have not even looked at your blog in three weeks. This guilt spurs the come-back post.

This happens quite a bit, and I have noticed some common mistakes that returning bloggers make. If you are considering a post after a long hiatus, here are some things you’ll want to avoid.

I know there were probably rumors that I was dead

In your return post, it is best to avoid talking about why you have not posted in a while, or even mentioning that you have been absent. No one wants to hear “OMG, LOL, I haven’t posted in, like, forever, LOL!!!1!” Frankly, unless the reason that you have not posted in a week, a month, or seven years, is that you are currently deceased, readers assume the reason to be burn out or lack of interest. In fact, unless the reader is your mom, it is unlikely that they have even noticed your absence, so the reader is uninterested in your reasoning and it is best to not mention it.

And then, last month, at my niece’s birthday party…

Another big pothole you’ll want to steer around is thinking that because you have not posted in ages, you need to catch people up on your life. Unless your name regularly appears in People magazine, your life is probably void of things that are of interest to people beyond your immediate family or close circle of friends. People who have interesting lives do not blog. I know that comes as a shock to most bloggers, who may be asking “if our lives are so boring then why on earth would we blog about them?” That is a great question, and probably one you should spend some time thinking about. In the interim, keep your come-back post current, fresh, and hip by avoiding any mention of the incredibly exciting craft fairs and dentist appointments that you attended during your hiatus.

I swear on the graves of my ancestors, I will blog again

The last mistake that most returning bloggers make is what I call “the contract.” In our glorious return post, we say something like “I know I have been lax about posting, but I promise that I’ll be posting every day again.” Bad move. First, never promise anything. Second, why would you assume that your second-wind will last longer than your first wind? The truth is, the only way to produce quality blog posts day after day for years without incentives like money, fame or free tickets to a Journey concert is to completely ignore the rest of your life and become a blogging machine. The rest of your life here means friends, family, work, and all the other little things that sometimes pop up and get in the way of you creating brilliance.

I would be the first guy out of the gate in a race to tell you that you should be blogging because if you love it as much as I do, then you probably feel a million times better when you are blogging. But, if it comes at the expense of your family, it’s probably not worth it.

Hello, tech support, I’ve forgotten the name of my blog…

I see my time is up. I do encourage you, if you have not visited your own blog in a few weeks, to take some time now and think about maybe posting something. I feel certain that if you follow my advice and avoid the common mistakes made by previously-MIA bloggers, then you’ll more than likely have a hit, and you will most certainly feel better about yourself. I know I do.